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Zelensky “The Entitled Plighter” in Disneyland

For the past two years, or so, I thought the Ukrainian President, Volodymyr Zelensky, was another Mikheil Saakashvili, a mere copycat; for the two made the journey to Disneyland in the Age of the Imbecile. But I couldn’t be more mistaken. The error in my judgment became vividly apparent to me after the first month had passed on the current war in Ukraine. 

 

True, the two made the journey to Disneyland. However, their journeys differ considerably in terms of duration and the scope of experience. Saakashvili’s journey was brief—a demo-tour of sorts. That of Zelensky, on the other hand, is a premium-packaged still ongoing special; which has absorbed him entirely into the simulacrum. Perhaps, Saakashivili had a more conscientious tour guide (President George W. Bush) than the one (President Joseph Biden) Zelensky have at present [emphasis added]. 

 

President Bush, though sought to entertain Saakashvili, he kept the latter grounded in the real world, beyond the gates of Disneyland. He had openly cautioned Saakashvili before, of the consequences involved in losing one’s self to the simulacrum. Bush warned him that Georgia must not be lured into some unseemly military escapade with Russia, during his visit to Tbilisi in May 2005, “Making it clear that the United States would not come to Georgia’s rescue if it did,” (Stent 168). 

Admittedly, as part of his administration’s “Freedom Agenda,” Bush did labor to grant Georgia a Membership Action Plan (MAP). But the Saakashvili regime’s eligibility to join the free and democratic world was put to question by some in the Bush administration—namely, Rice and Gates—due to his testiness, as he declared “a state of emergency in November 2007, after government forces had clashed violently with opposition protestors, and outside observers criticized the Georgian government for excessive use of force,” (Stent 164). And the fact that there were two breakaway regions in Georgia, South Ossetia and Abkhazia, made a prominent  EU and NATO member, Germany, hesitant to grant Saakashvili a MAP. For the German Chancellor at the time, Angela Merkel, had “insisted that no country could join NATO if it had unresolved territorial issues [A lesson Zelensky might want to learn],” (Stent 166).

 

In the early months of 2008, tensions rose between Georgia and Russia, with both sides holding “a series of military exercises that extended to July…. In mid-July 2008, a U.S.-led military exercise took place outside Tbilisi involving seventeen hundred troops from Georgia, the United States, Armenia, Azerbaijan, and Ukraine. At the same time, Russian troops carried out a large-scale military exercise in the North Caucasus military district on the Georgian border,” (Stent 169, 170). 

 

Saakashvili had mistaken this treat of adrenaline rush for a green light—a full-fledged military commitment on the part of the United States—disregarding the more explicit notes of caution. After refusing to sign a no-use-of-force pledge in order to diffuse tensions with Russia, during the weeks, leading up to the war, 

“Rice left him with the following blunt warning: “Mr. President, whatever you do, don’t let the Russians provoke you—No one will come to your aid and you will lose [my formatting]”” (Stent 170). But he wouldn’t listen; thanks to other voices from within and without the administration who buffed him up with quixotic talks of heroism (Stent, 2014). 

 

Simple Saakashvili… 

He never realized that Rice’s words were a verbal waiver—as good as one in writing—that he was supposed to consent to and acknowledge, before stepping into the ring with the Russian bear. Instead, he succumbed to his impulses, encouraged by the cheering of the bystanders and ignored the solemn warnings conveyed by his tour guide and his team. 

You see, at that point, Saakashvili, just like Zelensky nowadays, was already an ‘entitled plighter’. In April 2008, four months before the 5 days war with Russia, “At a German Marshall Fund Bucharest conference the day before the NATO summit, Saakashvili accused Germany of appeasing [my formatting: it is mandatory to incorporate catchwords into one’s lexical resource, under such circumstances, to cement one’s moral grandstanding] Russia, betraying [my formatting: here’s another catchword, to subtly convey one’s sense of entitlement] Georgia, and acting as a “Trojan horse” [my formatting: poor Saakashvili, this one had lost its luster eons past] for Moscow,” (Stent 166).  

Time had only proved Rice prophetically right. Following a series of mutual provocations, to maintain impartiality, “On the night on August 7, 2008, a “massive Georgian artillery attack” was launched against the South Ossetian capital of Tskhinvali that killed Ossetes and Russian peace-keepers [my formatting] who were protecting them,” (Stent 171). And so it was, that Saakashvili went to war against Russia; no one came to his aid and rescue; and, lost within the span of five days.

That was the end of the tour for Mikheil Saakashvili—the point where the simulacrum had petered out, as he was dropped and abandoned at the exit [emphasis added].

 

Zelensky’s tour began in the same manner (you know, the introductory phase is universal, regardless of the purchased package) up until war broke-out, on February 24, 2022. 

He has not only been treated with a serving of adrenaline, but left to wallow in the simulacrum at his own discretion. That’s what one would call a premium-packaged special tour! To add a cherry on top, his tour guide, also known as Uncle Joe (AKA, “The Woke-Moralist”), unlike Bush, has never disturbed him with any safety instructions—much less discomforting cautions of any possible dire consequences, pertaining to any activity. For those who don’t know, or haven’t had Uncle Joe as their tour guide in Disneyland, the man is sworn to guard and shield his clients’ emotions to the very last penny of taxpayers money… Sorry, to the last penny in the United States’ Treasury…Golly! I meant with his life.

Thus, the client might be led to believe that his tour is risk-free, notwithstanding the unrestricted accessibility to all facilities and themes—even a theme named, “Would you like to plunge the world in World War III?” has been made available for beloved Volodymyr.

Within the first 72 hours of war, Zelensky’s approval rates have tripled to a soaring 91% from their December records, just two months earlier. The wave of enthusiasm for him transcended far beyond the borders of Ukraine; bestowing unto him an unparalleled stardom; eo ipso, making him a Hollywood-style sensation in the Western Hemisphere, with every mainstream media channel glorifying—nay, deifying—him and extolling his virtues and spirit of leadership.     

 

President of Ukraine Volodymyr Zelensky
President of Ukraine Volodymyr Zelensky

It’s been almost eight months of exclusive special Christmas for Zelensky; and Santa keeps dropping off gifts for golden boy Zel. Lest Santa compromises his reputation for generosity, he ensures Zelensky’s gift-list includes billions of dollars; in case, God forbids, something skips his mind, Zelensky would then have enough to purchase it himself. Not to mention all the war toys, of course. 

 

 

 

 

Moreover, as it is customary for all newly proclaimed divinities and regalities to launch their dominion with an exercise of their prerogative to imprint their distinct mark on jurisprudence, golden boy Zel opted to introduce a new term to IR theory—that is, ‘preemptive sanctions strike’. If you haven’t learned the term yet, you’re an imbecile!  All subjects attending the field must, by royal decree, take note and begin to employ the term accordingly henceforth.

One might add here, that Zelensky the Entitled Plighter, has also decreed that any dissension is an act of treason against his holiness and the realm (i.e., the West); and is thereby punishable by death. (Note: technically, the dissident is added to a kill-list of “Russian Propagandists”; making him, in effect, a “fair game” on the streets; published on a website, Myrotvorets “(meaning “peacemaker” in Ukrainian [as though Folly is mocking us!]), whose domain name is listed as being in Langley, Virginia, headquarters of the CIA.” Even good-old, 99, Former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger is on that list)

 

But now Uncle Joe faces a dilemma: Zelensky’s premium-package is drawing nigh expiration; and, as his emotional guardian angel, he cannot find the courage to break the devastating news to his golden boy. How would he tell someone wholly absorbed into the simulacrum, that all that which his faculties perceive is not real, i.e., a hyperreality? That might crush golden boy Zel, and drive him into nihilism.

For what is a hyperreality? As coined by the high-priest of post-modernism, Jean Baudrillard, “The hyperreal is something ‘more real than real’: something fake and artificial that comes to be more definitive of the real than reality itself,” (Freeland 130). Thus understood, it would be detrimental for Zelensky to learn he has been living a delusion, simply because he let himself sink deep into it. And now, he’s not absent-minded; rather, absent altogether; “lost in [his] own images and absorbed into [his] own terminals,” (Freeland 129, 130).

 

How could sweet Uncle Joe possibly tell Zelensky that it is time for them to depart; that the moment has now come for him to deliver the ultimate final performance of Disneyland; which is, abandoning the client at the exit point [emphasis added]?

It should be manifestly apparent that this will be very problematic for President Biden—given that at this juncture, Zelensky is not the same person whom he greeted at the entrance. He is now a most ‘entitled plighter.’ And, an ‘entitled plighter’ never accepts abandonment or deflection of support from what he’s been accustomed to. 

Zelensky will undoubtedly blame President Biden for his misfortunes; if he doesn’t overreach to exact a price from the United States and the European Union, for his own failures. It would be unconceivable for golden boy Zel to imagine that Biden should stop at any limit, despite that such limit might be the United States Mutually Assured Destruction (MAD) with Russia. 

Notwithstanding, Zelensky’s simulacrum will inevitably come to its end, as did Saakashvili’s: Volodymyr, just like Mikheil, will surely be abandoned at the exit.  

 

So, in case you wondered, why Disneyland?

In a nutshell, as Baudrillard concluded upon his visit to Disneyland, in his masterpiece, “Simulacra and Simulations”: DISNEYLAND IS THE REAL AMERICA. YOU ARE WELCOMED AT THE ENTRANCE; ENTERTAINED ON THE INSIDE; AND, EVENTUALLY, ABANDONED AT THE EXIT. 

 

THE END.

 

 

Related Publications: “Zelensky’s Ukraine: An Asset or a Liability for the United States?”

 

 

 

Reference

Freeland, C. Art Theory: A Very Short Introduction, Baudrillard in Disneyland. Oxford University, 2007.

Stent, Angela E. The Limits of Partnership: U.S.-Russian Relations in the Twenty-First Century. Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2014.

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